I don't want to go through the motions

Well, I've been thinking that I haven't been on here for a couple of weeks and to be honest with you, it's because I'm dealing with a lot of junk right now.  I have had a hard time with stress lately. 

Since I've been stuck in this boot for over a month, I haven't been able to go run or walk or do much exercise and it is driving me nuts because that is my stress relief.  The stress from my classes and just the busyness this time of year has been a lot to handle and my emotions are in roller coaster mode!  Just ask Mark!  He should be sainted.

I'm trying to hold it all together, but to tell you the truth, the old "Fake It Till You Make It" idea really stinks!  The song "The Motions" keeps running through my head.  I wonder how long I've been going through the motions.  The lyrics are so true for me. 

I don't want to go through the motions
I don't want to go one more day without Your All Consuming Passion Inside of Me
I don't want to spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything instead of going through the motions?

Just something to think about.

Dating in 6th Grade....Really?

When I was at that magical age of beginning to swoon over boys, the thing to do was to "go together".  My dad questioned exactly where I planned on going with some boy and the answer was NOWHERE, but we were still "going together."

Now, these adept 6th graders have moved right on passed that to "dating".  Not my kiddo, just kiddos in general (thought I better mention that before anyone starts hyperventilating).  One of Missy's friends texted her this afternoon to tell her the exciting news that Richard (the new kid) asked her to go on a date.  Knowing the dad of the askee, I was curious what she told Richard.  In all of her brilliance, trying to hook him as a boyfriend and somehow let him know that she couldn't go on a date at the ripe old age of 11, she said....Well, I would if I could but I can't.

BRILLIANT!

CALGON......

Well, I had a good morning, I had a great lunch with a friend and her funny little boy.

Then, the rest went down hill from there in a really big way.

I planned to run up to the school this afternoon and help the librarian with a few new books.  In my rushing, I didn't pay much attention to what I was doing.  So, I jumped in the car, hit the garage button, adjusted my seat and started backing out...

BAM

What was that?  Pull the car back up...get out...apparently the garage was not completely open when I thought it was.  The garage door was hanging off the tracks on one side and bent in the middle.  My spoiler was laying upside down on top of my roof.

I wrestled with the garage door to get it back on the tracks...took out my frustration with a hammer and 2x4 on one of the tracks that was bent...and got it to go up so I could get my car out.  Let's not talk about how I got up there to reach all of that.

My car didn't fare quite as well.  I broke the spoiler off the top which has my brake light, my satellite radio antenna, and washer fluid.  Mark says it's not that big of a deal, it can be put back on, it's not scratched, just popped off.

For me, it was just the straw that broke the camel's back for my basket case state of mind the last couple of weeks.

CALGON....Take Me AWAY!!!

A Special Christmas Gift

Maresa has always listened to music at night to fall asleep by.  Before she was born, my mother-in-law gave her a tape that we have since transferred to a CD called Blessings for my Daughter.  Since she's about to be 12, I thought it would be a good gift idea to make her a new CD with some of my favorite songs that touch my heart about our relationship.  I know what you're thinking... Good Grief - she's still listening to the same music that she listened to when she was an infant?  And the answer is Yes.  The CD is absolutely beautiful and is full of affirming scripture songs that she loves.  Even though she has tried out others, she always goes back to this one.  So, I'm hoping my gift doesn't end up in the pile of those that have come and gone.

I finished the play list yesterday and was listening to it this morning while getting ready to go run some errands.  Now, you should know that I've been a basket case for about two weeks for some reason.  Listening to this sent me right over the edge.  I have cried at just about every song and am now second guessing whether I really want to send her into dreamland all weepy every night!

Here's the list....  I dare you to make it through it without crying.

My Heart Does A Little Dance, Joanie Bartels
My Wish, Rascal Flatts
How Could I ask for more, Cindy Morgan
My Grown-Up Christmas List, Amy Grant
In My Duaghter's Eyes, Martina McBride
My Little Girl, Tim McGraw
Ready, Set, Don't Go, Billy Ray Cyrus
Let Them Be Little, Billy Dean
Ordinary Miracle, Sarah McLachlan
I Hope You Dance, LeAnn Womack
Find Your Wings, Mark Harris
In My Arms, Plumb

Another Maresa-ism to get you through your day....

We have decided that our family giving project this Christmas will be Operation Christmas Child through Samaritan's Purse.  We've done Angel Trees in the past, but wanted it to be a little more personal as Maresa is getting older.  If you don't know what it is, www.samaritanspurse.org/occ will tell you all about it - it is a great project for kids of any age.

So, the basic idea is that you pack a shoe box of goodies for a girl or boy in a specific age range.  We decided that we would all three do our own box and fill it with whatever we thought would be loved by a child who may not get other Christmas gifts. 

My daughter informs me that if we are going to fill three boxes, we would just have to go shoe shopping first because how else would we get three shoes boxes? (That's that incredibly literal trait coming through again!)  I laughed at her silliness and said that we could buy three plastic "shoe box size" boxes and it would be just fine.

OH NO...that will not do!  If it's shoe boxes they want, shoe boxes they will get! 

Maresa:  No Mom, I'll take one for the team and get three new pairs of shoes so we can use real shoe boxes. 
Me:  You are such a sacrificial, giving child.

Pre-teen Drama Girl

So today I don't have any real earth-shattering stuff to share, except a little lot of drama...that's my girl!

My mom and I had lunch this afternoon...Cotton Patch provided the food...I provided the entertainment.  We laughed a lot at the drama of raising a very bright daughter.  It's funny how much she related the stories of our hectic, dramatic week to my glory days in Jr. High.  What's funny is that I don't remember being a drama child at all.  I was certainly not near as social or as outgoing as Maresa is.  I was a fairly shy kid and she is so not shy! And, I'm certain that I was a very even-keeled, rational child...she's rational, but even-keeled she is not.

It has been one DRAMATIC week around here!  Drama Drama Drama at every turn!  Which, in case you didn't already know, I don't deal well with at all!  I like order, not chaos!  We've had tears regularly about too much homework, homework forgotten at school, homework brought home but book forgotten at school, not enough time to do a project, not getting recess, and to top it all off...an 89 on her report card!  That last one just completely ruined her day.  Yeah, she's a little bit of a perfectionist, but I don't know where she got that gene.

Oh yeah, we do have that one tiny little thing in common!

After this week...we need a re-do!

On A Lighter Note...

OK - so my first post was pretty heavy so I thought I would follow it up with something to make you laugh.

About a month ago, I got some new Mary Kay makeup from my neighbor.  Maresa had been home sick for way too many days and Mark had been out of town for way too many days.  Sanity was slipping away from me and you know, kids have a way of snapping you right back into the moment!

So, Maresa and I were getting ready to go pick Mark up from the airport and we had slept until the very last possible moment still allowing enough time to throw some clothes on and run out the door.

Christina brought over my new makeup the day before and you know I wanted to look good for my hubby, so I made a feeble, rushed attempt to get all gussied up...which basically meant that I brushed my hair and teeth and probably put on lipgloss and mascara.  (I told you it was feeble.)  And, in an effort to get Maresa to hurry up, I said, "That's all she wrote, come on we gotta go."

Dragging along behind me, Maresa says with a questioning tone "That's all she wrote?"  Not thinking a thing about that phrase, I said again, "Yes, that's all she wrote, now come on."  She said, "What do you mean? She gave you a paper?"  OK, now I'm frustrated, we don't have time for this conversation and my reply went something along the lines of  "I don't even know what you're talking about. COME ON!"  She said (and Chrsitina, my Mary Kay lady, will LOVE this!) "Ms. Christina... did she give you a list?"  You're gonna be surprised at my reply because we're still standing in the hallway having this conversation instead of driving toward the airport, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

And, in her best let-me-help-you-understand voice, my incredibly literal 11 year old says..."You said That's all she wrote.  I'm trying to ask you if Ms. Christina gave you a list with your makeup.  Like did she write down what stuff you are supposed to use today and that's why you said that's all she wrote?"

After I regained my composure, I explained the phrase that I obviously thought she already understood.